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- Ode To The Stutterer
by Daniele Garcia Look at that girl: The stutterer girl The stupid speech The certain joke. Look at the stutterer: The bully's target The clunky kid The shut up mouth. Look at the child: Waiting for the growth Dreaming in French Getting up in silence....
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Stages of Learning to Say "No"
By Donna Birk
One of the most important skills we can learn that will help us manage and fulfill our priorities is to say "No." Once we get there, it becomes easier and easier, but initially it can be extremely awkward and unpopular with others. Knowing the stages we?ll go through can help us realize that what?s happening is natural and that its not just that we can?t seem to do it.
Stage 1: Identifying Opportunities
In this initial stage we have identified our need to learn to say "No" and have made it a goal. What happens is that we start to identify opportunities that have already past where we could have and should have said "No." We may easily be able to relate to this stage. Most of us at one time or another have said to ourselves or someone else "I never should have agreed to do this." It?s that regretful feeling that we didn?t take the chance when we had it. This is an important stage in the process, though, since it instills within us the negative experiences that can result from not having said "No." When enough of those build up, we move on to the next stage.
Stage 2: Backing Up
This next stage of learning and practicing saying "No" is the most difficult. What actually happens is that we continue to say "Yes," but decide later that we really should have said "No." We get up the courage to make it right, go back to the other person and tell them we?ve changed our mind. We may feel uncertain, uncomfortable, embarrassed, unsure of ourselves, and not fully believe that what we?re trying to do is the right thing. Responses from others who let us know that we?ve let them down, we?re going back on your promise, or what will they do now certainly contribute to the discomfort we feel within this stage. We also, however, begin feeling intense moments of relief, self-confidence, and pride in ourselves. This is a stage where we seem to need the most reassurance that we?re on the right track. Bear with it, because it will be well worth it! When these positive experiences begin to have more impact than the discomfort, we move on to the next stage.
Stage 3: Doing the Right Thing at the Right Time
Within this stage, we have arrived at a place where we are able to say no at the right time: immediately. Again, this stage can be somewhat uncomfortable, but much of the discomfort, fear, and lack of confidence from the last stage has minimized dramatically. Because we are human beings who have feelings, we may never completely be rid of some sense of guilt or discomfort, but it will continue to have less and less of an impact on us.
No matter what stage you are in or if you?ve just decided to start learning to say "No," use this information to reassure yourself that you?re not alone, you?re not crazy, and you?re not a bad person because you say "No" to someone. None of us are any good to anyone else unless we do what is right for us first.
Author: Donna Birk is a writer, trainer, coach, and Licensed Social Worker. She founded and operates People Builders, "Where Your Growth Is Our Goal." Get a FREE goal setting guide and FREE E-zine at her website: http://www.youcangetitdone.com
Source: http://www.selfgrowth.com/articles/Birk1.html
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- Ode To The Stutterer
by Daniele Garcia Look at that girl: The stutterer girl The stupid speech The certain joke. Look at the stutterer: The bully's target The clunky kid The shut up mouth. Look at the child: Waiting for the growth Dreaming in French Getting up in silence....
- Top 10 Skills Children Learn From The Arts
By Valerie Strauss You don?t find school reformers talking much about how we need to train more teachers in the arts, given the current obsession with science, math, technology and engineering (STEM), but here?s a list of skills that young people learn...
- Difficulties In Learning Acquisition
Typical children are constantly exposed to language in the form of adults and older children speaking and communicating around them. Children acquire language at a very rapid rate, and most children's speech is relatively grammatical by age three....
- Stages Of Second Language Acquisition
by Judie Haynes All new learners of English progress through the same stages to acquire language. However, the length of time each students spends at a particular stage may vary greatly. Stage I: Pre-productionThis is the silent period. English language...
- Teacher Talk Time And Student Talk Time
At the simplest level, teacher talk time (TTT) refers to how much the teacher talks during a lesson. However, this will vary according to the stage of the lesson. For example, the teacher needs to speak more when providing explanations of and examples...